


24: Ikea Furniture Build

by DrakkHammer



Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Summer Fandom Raffle Exchange, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4829858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrakkHammer/pseuds/DrakkHammer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This just missed the deadline for the Summer Fandom Raffle Exchange, but I'm going to include it. I don't need to win anything, writing this was a hoot. I just love these folks!</p>
            </blockquote>





	24: Ikea Furniture Build

24: Ikea furniture build  
  
“I fuckin’ hate Ikea!”  
  
“No shit,” George replied in a disinterested voice. “That’s all you’ve said for the past hour. I asked you if you wanted to come along – I didn’t tell you that you had to come.”  
  
“You need help carrying the cabinet,” Mitchell said petulantly.  
  
“I don’t need help carrying it in the bloody store, you whiny twat. I need help getting it into our flat and up the steps.  
  
Mitchell stopped, his face shoing outrage. “Did you just call me a twat?”  
  
George frowned. “No. I called you a ‘whiny twat” get it right.”  
  
Annie burst out in giggles and Mitchell shot her a look that would kill, except that he was a bit late with Annie, being a ghost and all.  
  
“Mitchell,” she said sweetly, “George is right. You didn’t have to come. You just didn’t want to stay in the flat alone.”  
  
She batted her big brown eyes at him. “Admit it, you love being out with us, even at Ikea.”  
  
“Oh shut it!” He threw a pillow at her, which looked as if he was not only talking to empty air, but having a battle with it as well.  
  
George looked at the surprised lady who was slowly backing away. He looped his arm through Mitchell’s. “He’s been off his meds, but he’s okay now…really he is.”  
  
In the vampire’s ear he whispered, “If you don’t behave like an adult I’m never taking you out with me again.”  
  
Mitchell's lower lip came out in a pout, but he stopped complaining.  
  
With Nina coming over to Auckland in a week, the second-hand furniture that George and Mitchell had scored just wasn't going to cut it anymore. Besides Nina deserved something new to put her clothes in and he had his first paycheck so he had the cash. He and Annie decided to go to Ikea and Mitchell insisted on tagging along. They both knew he was going to complain and he never let them down.  
  
He slouched around the furniture section looking like an alley cat who needed a place to pee.  
  
Annie always found him amusing, but his attitude could get on George's nerves. There was something about a whiny kid who was nearly a hundred years old that could get annoying after awhile. Still, just when the werewolf was ready to wring his neck, Mitchell would do something silly and then smile and all would be forgiven. It was impossible to stay irritated at him for long.  
  
George was looking through drawers trying to find the best fit, while Annie inspected a lamp she loved but they couldn't afford. Ikea perked her up and she had forgotten that the trip to New Zealand had taken far too much of her energy. She was back to being visible only to them, something she had pouted about until George had relented and asked her to come with him, babbling a rather unconvincing but amusing plea that he needed her judgment. She lifted the lamp up to check the price, making it appeared to be floating in mid-air. George made a grab for it and set it down carefully, ignoring the dirty look the ghost gave him. He looked up and found Mitchell standing in front of a mirror making faces at himself. Since there was nothing reflecting back and he had caught the eye of several shoppers, George had a minor panic attack. Annie leaped out of his way as he vaulted the couch between them and grabbed Mitchell's shoulder. They both landed on the sofa with George sitting on top of the vampire, effectively lacking the wind out of him.  
  
"The fuck!?" He gave George a hard shove that almost knocked him onto the floor. "Gerroff me, ya great blood git!"  
  
George was as angry as he ever allowed himself to get. "I'm not the one showing off in front of a mirror. Did you wake up and decide to be an idiot today, or are you just doing this to get back at me for bringing you to Ikea?"  
  
Mitchell looked up at the circle of faces peering down at him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.  
  
Noting their rapt audience, George pulled an idea out of his ass and stood up with a grin. "We're just practicing a magic act we've been working out. We'll be putting up flyers for it as soon as we're opening. Thank you for being such a good audience. He bowed and a few people clapped politely before they turned and left looking confused.  
  
George sat back down on the couch, his face buried in his hands. He heaved a sigh and pleaded, "Please, can we just get through this and get the bloody chest and go home? Please?"  
  
George looked so pitiful that both Mitchell and Annie stopped sulking and sat down, one on either side. Annie slid her arm around George's neck and Mitchell patted him on the knee.  
  
"We're sorry," Annie apologized softly. "I used to love to come here and shop. I always want to look at the new things and I forgot I'm...I'm dead."  
  
"Don't say that. Don't ever say that!" George didn't care if people thought he was talking to the pillow on the couch. "You can't help what happened to you and it's okay if you still like to shop. I'll take you shopping every day if you want me to."  
  
She threw both arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tightly. She was a big girl and she knocked the breath out of him. "You're the best!"  
  
Mitchell gave them both a gentle smile. "She's right George, you are the best and sometimes I forget that and act like an arse."  
  
"Yeah, you do, George conceded. He was trying to stay pissed off, but it wasn't working. It never did when his friends apologized, no matter what they'd done. He loved them both so much sometimes he was surprised there was room for Nina in his heart. He'd been so alone and then he suddenly had family. And now that family had moved to freakin' New Zealand of all places. It was a new life, but it was okay because he still had his friends.  
  
"Why don't we just get the chest, so George can get his flat all fixed up for Nina?" Mitchell suggested. He gestured toward the lamp. "If you really like that doodad let's get it. It'll be my contribution to fixing the place up."  
  
"You've already helped with painting and all," George protested. "You and Anders. You don't need to buy anything."  
  
Mitchell was already in motion. He scooped up the lamp and tucked it under his arm. "It's not I have to, it's like I want to. Besides Dawn and Ty did more painting than Anders and I did. We suck at it."  
  
George had to admit that it was true. An ad-man and a non-crafty vampire aren't the best interior painters in the world. Fortunately, Dawn and Ty more than made up for what they lacked. Mitchell had proved to be good at spotting places they missed and Anders bought the beer, so it all turned out fine in the end.  
  
The rest of the trip through Ikea was more or less uneventful. At one point, Mitchell felt the need to moo when he felt he was being herded along like cattle. He pawed the ground to the astonishment of the kids in the family stopped next to them. "When I go through here I pretend I'm a steer on a cattle drive," he said seriously. Fortunately, the family found this to be hysterically funny and when the trio moved on they left the little boy mooing softly to himself. One thing about Mitchell, he was great with kids. George pretty much thought that was the reason Nina tolerated him at all.  
  
They got the chest, paid for it and muscled the box into the boot of the car while Annie watched with a look of interested amusement.  
  
As they got in the car, George looked over at Mitchell with an expression that said he'd been thinking about something for awhile. "You know, he finally said. "Steers are castrated..."  
  
Mitchell didn't talk to George until they got out of the car at his apartment building. "That wasn't funny."  
  
"It was hilarious, mate," the taller man replied, untying the long box from the hooks in the boot of his car. "But don't worry, I won't tell Anders you said it. There are some secrets friends have to keep." He looked over at Annie who zipped her finger and thumb across her lips and smiled innocently.  
  
With no one around to see, Mitchell grabbed the box and easily carried it up the steps while George opened the door. He brought it in and set it in the middle of the floor. "So, do you think we should get Ty to come over and help put this bastard together?"  
  
George looked hurt. "You do know that I have an IQ of 156."  
  
"I know that you are a freaking multi-lingual genius who doesn't know which side of a screwdriver to use," Mitchell replied, pulling out his mobile. "I'm hopeless at building anything that doesn't use Legos blocks. We need Ty."  
  
"How about me," Annie said sharply.  
  
They both turned to look at her. In truth, they had forgotten about her, discounting her because she's a girl and, well...a ghost."  
  
"I used to build Ikea furniture all the time. I had ordered a whole entertainment unit for that wall the TV was on before..." Her voice trailed off.  
  
George was immediately at her side and Mitchell looked stricken. "We didn't forget you, we just didn't think you could..."  
  
Her feelings were hurt, but she wasn't really mad. It was hard to get angry at these two knotheads. They always meant well, it was just that both had difficulty when it came to keeping their foot out of their mouth. George was the worst of the two about it, but he was so genuinely naïve when it came to dealing with women that she found him more endearing than irritating.  
  
"It's okay," she waved their concern off. "At some point I have to get over what I am."  
  
"Don't we all," Mitchell said as he gave her a hug.  
  
George opened the box and pulled out the instructions. "Look they are so simple a child could do it."  
  
"Better go get a child," Mitchell muttered under his breath.  
  
George's eyebrows pulled down. "I heard that."  
  
"Boys, behave yourselves," Annie said with an arch to both her eyebrow and her voice. She laid the instructions out and started to read.  
  
By the time Anders arrived nearly an hour and a half later, Annie's hair was hanging irritatingly over one eye as she tightened a screw. George was sitting propped up against the sofa with one section of the instructions in his lap and the corner of a drawer next to him on the floor held together by tape so that he could try to get the screws in. Mitchell was gracefully draped across a chair helpfully drawing condensation rings on the end table with his beer bottle.  
  
Mitchell got up to let him in, scoring a kiss and the six-pack in his hand. "Welcome to the party, pal."  
  
Anders looked around, eyeing the pieces of the chest and the weary look on George's face. "Do I want to come in?"  
  
"Probably not," Mitchell admitted, but we've suffered long enough, so its time you got to have the Ikea experience as well."  
  
At the scent of pizza and prospect of more beer, George dumped the instructions and launched himself to his feet. "What kind did you get?"  
  
"Sausage, pepperoni, onion, capsicum, and extra cheese." He looked at Mitchell and smiled at his cheese-lover. "Hope that's okay."  
  
"Brilliant," George said lifting a piece and biting into it with a look of pure bliss. "Ah, I've needed this so bad."  
  
In the spirit of camaraderie, Mitchell opened a beer and handed it to him, completing his look of bliss. He took a piece of pizza and bit off a chunk. "You're a lifesaver, you know that?"  
  
Anders shook his head and laughed. "Whatever. It's nice to know I have a use. Why didn't you just hire someone to put this together for you?"  
  
George gave him a pained look. "Because A, that costs money that I don't have and B, because I can do it myself."  
  
Anders shrugged. He looked down at Annie. "Do you want some pizza?"  
  
She flipped the lock of hair out of her eyes. "I can't eat, but I'm enjoying smelling it."  
  
"Okay..." He lifted a piece of pizza, grabbed a beer and a handful of napkins and gracefully sat next to her on the floor. "The boys making you do all the work?"  
  
She laughed prettily. "Nope, I volunteered. I've got it about half done."  
  
Anders reached over and picked up the instructions. "Looks like a kid drew them." After looking at them for a moment, he surprised everyone by sitting down gracefully and leaning across Annie to pick up a part.  
  
"I think this is the one you want," he advised. "  
  
She took it, turned it and then grinned. "You're right! Brilliant, just brilliant. You're going to stick around aren't you?" She handed him a screwdriver with a winsome expression.  
  
"Yeah, I'll stick around. It's been a long time since I put anything together, but I used to be pretty good at it."  
  
He looked up at George and Mitchell, who were sitting there with puzzled expressions. "I can show you how it goes together, if you want?"  
  
George slid off the chair to sit next to him, but Mitchell waved him away. "I'm hopeless with this shit. My brain doesn't work like this. Hell, I didn't know yours worked like this. I guess I'm impressed."  
  
Anders looked at him archly. "You guess you're impressed?"  
  
His boyfriend got up and leaned down to give him a quick kiss, ignoring George's "get a room" eye-roll. "Yeah, I -- am impressed. It's nice to know that if we ever decide to get domestic and get a bigger place you'll be able to put together the furniture, so we don't have to all sit on mats on the floor."  
  
Anders chuckled. "Its good to know you think I'm good for something, now get me another beer and prepare to be amazed."  
  
Half an hour later the chest was assembled. George didn't like being outclassed by a ghost, but guessed maybe Anders sort of being a god might factor into it. The Kiwi didn't enlighten him that no way was Lord Bragi doing to fuck with furniture unless it was to fuck on said furniture. Anders had always been good at puzzles at Ikea furniture was just a 3-dimensional puzzle.  
  
Annie was delighted and had given him a big hug. It was rather like being surrounded by an angora sweater, soft and sweet-smelling. He adored Annie and she was one of the few off-limits for his sarcasm. She was such a gentle soul that he just never felt he could risk bruising her. He hadn't brought the subject up with Mitchell, but if she ever had to stop living with George she'd be welcome with them.  
  
He snorted at his own sappiness and went over to sit next to Mitchell. Annie sat on the edge of George's chair and they all looked at the chest. It looked rather proud of itself for having required three adults, four if you counted Mitchell lugging it in, to do battle to put it together. It hadn't won, but it had given a damn good accounting of itself. George was glad that it was going to be Nina's. If there was anything he hated -- it was smug furniture.


End file.
